Poems about Alexander

You exist in a moment
When we sat on the edge of the concrete when it meets the lake
In the night at the end of Chicago.
Our legs were in the water seated on stone.
The lapping of the waves.
The lapping of the cars.
Warmed by the city light.
We were, you and I, in the darkness of the water.
Cracking our heels against the solid stone.

For me you exist in that middle space.
What I thought I was and what I could be.
So when I feel the fog against my legs at night as they pound heavy on the pavement
How can I not be sent back into a thought of your arms.
Alexander, My Great.

Before that, though,
How we sat in Michigan underneath summer stars.
Where we shared voices in a hushed darkness defied.
On the soft sand near the large rocks
Watching the expanse between the lights
And the sweet invasion from Chicago's night.

That expanse, I love
When it melted into your chest and the small stars became your birth marks.
I was born under you.
The stretches of black.
Your stretches of gold.
I still feel the trees behind us
And our friends on the beach and the beer in our hands
And the stars on your chest.

Subjectivity seems like a curse near the rocks in the water.
A name is a thing with stars on its chest
That melts Chicago with coursing waters.
If my truth is objective and you call it love
Then my beauty becomes fact in that moment.
Every stone in broken sand we sat on.
The exact color of the fog.
Every lapping of the cars has meaning in it.
Or none of it does and I go back.

Leave the beaches and leave the moment.
Leave with me.
I no longer am satisfied with Michigan waters and Chicago stone.
I want the space we saw.
The blackness punctured by heaven
Punctured by you.
I need the space or the planets contained in dark to be with you.
No mixtures, no negotiations, no more breaking waves.
I will sit with and feel the weight of your existence.
Just you.

Our pursuits are to express into the world,
To be able with steady heart and clear breath to say something to you.
I should block out the lapping of the cars and give something to you.
But I am always stuck in these moments with you.
Trapped in the cold of the cans and the silk of the sand.

I loved you, and I probably still do,
And for a while the feeling may remain...
But let my love no longer trouble you,
I do not wish to cause you any pain.
I loved you; and the hopelessness I knew,
The jealousy, the shyness - though in vain -
Made up a love so tender and so true
As may God grant you to be loved again.

May only best wishes and praise
Come streaming your way
On this your 60th Birthday

HAVE A GREAT DAY... HELL, HAVE A GREAT YEAR

I was wrong
In thinking love
Does not exist
And falls apart
Before it ever
Lasts

I see you
Everyday
(my longing is in agony)
And your passion is
Overflowing even when
We do not speak

The Good Fairy was wondering by
She saw lonely Alex who was a good guy
She thought she knew a perfect match
Cleo was lonely and in a rough patch
So in her head, a plan started to hatch
Cleo's very old ad, put by the fairy
In front of Alex like a tasty cherry

She knew they'd click and so they did
They found harmony that they never did
They would always talk & always share
At one another's words they would always stare
Million miles stood in between
But their thoughts as close as it had never been
They wanted a song that suited them perfectly
They found the one, Truly Madly Deeply
He was her King and she was his Queen
A kingdom they built and together they reign

But all of a sudden things changed
Their world turned upside down unexplained

An evil laugh was heard by the fairy
She turned around & saw in wary
Wicked witch was in high mood
For she had managed to undo the good

She cast a curse on the King & Queen
And in their Kingdom planted a devilish seed
That grew into thorns of negative creed
And the spell blinded them from seeing the truth
They wouldn't talk, they wouldn't share
Each alone was living in despair

Fairy thought of what to do
To help bring back together the two

She sprinkled fairy dust everywhere
The curse was lifted up in the air
The thorns vanished into eau-claire
The King & Queen felt a high
Said we were jinxed by an evil eye

Their world was back in order
And they felt that together, they were stronger
Little did they know it was all because
A fairy was always working for a good cause

I remember when I slipped in,
Like a hazy shadow in the evening's glow
Of a darkened hall and your bedroom's light.

You looked of some unearthly perfection to me.

Like some lounging pagan god
On a throne of down pillows
And cotton blue blankets.

And how your eyes looked at me that night!

It was as if you saw something other than
The flawed coffee colored flesh
And awkward hanging of nervous limbs.

Like I was beautiful.

And I remember I could feel it.
Everywhere your eyes rested,
I could feel heat and something pushing beneath my skin-
My body transforming into the splendor you believed me to possess.

And when your eyes traveled to my face-
(Up, past my dipping navel
Through a valley of soft, heavy breasts,
Meandering in the hollow of my collar bone until
Rushing up the column of my neck)
- All I could see in you was love;
Heavy and warm and sweet,
Like humid summer air after a rainstorm.

I remember that suddenly,
I wanted nothing but to be naked before you.

I wanted to strip myself bare,
Show you all the hidden parts of me.
Let your eyes rove over the ugly blood and meat of me,
And watch your face as you discovered some piece of beauty visible only to you.

I have never wanted to be loved as much as I did in that moment.

And so,
When you looked at me that night,
And mouthed your prayers and devotion across my shoulder blades,
I gave myself up to you wholly.

And I marveled at the way I ripened to your touch;
I felt myself swell almost to bursting,
And my kisses were slow and heavy and sweet.

Love,
That night I took off my skin for you,
Thick and tough as orange peels.

Did the layer underneath, taste of citrus to you?

In my dream I usually
Make it to the bar,
It's a particular bar
An odd bar
It's at the end of the shopping mall
In my dream
Just past the book store,
The bar front looks like some
Kind of Irish pub
No sign
No windows
Oak doors
Rock walls
Fine finish,
You walk in
Your shoes so perfect
With it's fine carpet
Of red silk,
To the left of the bar
Sit the politicians
The lawyers
The bureaucrats,
They all laugh and spill their drinks
Sloppy in corruption
Smirks and disgust
Powdered cocaine noses
Glass eyes,
To the right of the bar
Is where I sit
And also
Sits the average freaks
The 9 to 5's
The norms
The ones that still hold on to a dream
But work to survive,
A dream
For a dream is the only
Hope left worth holding onto,
I drink and laugh
At the whores
Staring next to me,
I blow cigarette smoke
In their face
"what the fuck are you looking at, aha?! "
"fucking whores! "
They stare at me with their
Blank dead eyes
And
Their breasts sag
Ripping out of their
Musky ripped blouse
Almost knocking over their drinks
In sorrow
And their asses,
Their asses hang
Over the bar stool
Coming down like a quake
An avalanche,
The China man to
Blows smoke in their face
And we both laugh
In cheers
And on any given Sunday
At any given moment
The little blue man escapes from
My heart,
The little blue man then guzzles
Down what's left of my drink
And the China mans drink
Then leaps across the bar,
The little blue man glides across
The silk red carpet
Like some kind super human mutant freak,
The little blue man jumps and slaps the politicians
Slaps the lawyers
And gnaws on the skulls of the bureaucrats
Like the cannibal they had made him,
Eating the flesh
As if it were his first taste of meat,
The hunger of a man trapped on an island for twenty five years,
A conscience that has been trapped in a soul for twenty five more,
In my dream I usually make
It to the bar,
It's a particular bar
An odd bar
And tonight I didn't,
Maybe they were closed
Maybe they weren't,
"tell me something little blue man,
Is there a heaven in hell? "
"only for the saints. " -Shane Book

Rain was a symbol
Of prosperity in ancient times

And that's what you were-
A storm that came in
And blew me back off my feet

Once having solid footing,
But you created a mudslide within

You came in
Like a flurry of ice and anger
Of fire and sadness

And I didn't know what to do

There was nothing to say

I worried if I touched you
I would slip and fall

That happened anyway

It was a gradual decrease
Of the rooms temperature

Rain was a sign of prosperity
But now it's seen as an omen
Winter was never my favorite season