You've ruined songs, you've ruined restaurants, you've ruined the striped shirt i used to wear on happy days. you're the stain on a white couch i can never remove and will always despise
Holiday crowd on the beach Watches, in horror, One slowly walks in to the hands, Extended by merciful sea, In a mission of self discovery. Water inch by inch takes him in When the eyes and ears becomes still The sea sense takes over, A new awareness prevails, And what does he find, now?
The sea is full of voices of pain, Of souls abandoned in water, for ever, Water is full of life, invisible to human eyes, Near the shallow shore, Sitting on a kayak non existent, An old fisherman laments: "Dead and gone, in agitated sea, yet I am here, they don't count me " And the girl, who was full of life and love, Her lover gifted her a watery grave, Her body thrown in to water, Floated and drifted around frenzied, The sea is her home now, Love is the most hated word for her.
The sea then erupts as a cry Waves of tears, salty and thick swell.
You know how you have one of those days at work where time is crawling by and you want nothing more than for the day to be over and it feels excruciating? But then you put your nose to the grindstone and just slug it out. And you do not stop until the end of the day.
That is how I feel today, only I have different work to do. And the work I have to do is like that project you put off because you just do not want to do it. It is that file you put on the bottom of everything and just hope it will resolve itself. But you know it will not. Every day you pick up that file thinking today may be the day you will get started. But you do not. You have questions about some of the material in the file, you are not sure what to do, and you are unable to complete the project because there is nobody around to answer your questions. You have left several messages for her, the woman who was supposed to answer your questions, but she has not called you back. And now you are angry because you need guidance! You need her help you, you cannot do it on your own! But it has been too long now. She is not going to call you back... she is not going to give you the directions you need to complete this project. You know that you are on your own now.
That is how I feel right now. The file before me is filled with my life, my past, and my painful memories. It contains my feelings of shame, sadness, anger...hopelessness and worthlessness. The project is to take each page and fit it together like a puzzle...and once the puzzle is together, the project will be complete and I will be whole.
But I do not know where to start. I am lost. I feel like a ship without a rudder. A sailboat without a spinnaker. I am a tourist without a guide. I am a lost child without her mother... alone and frightened. I am crying...but she can no longer hear me.
We drown it out with our preoccupations I do, too!
Can you imagine the Republic of Congo And what children there, suffer?
I have travelled to the 3rd world extensively and Have been to Nepal and Madagascar. The children suffer in a brutal way. . . That is hard to wrap your head around If you've never left the US, Canada or Europe, Australia or Japan.
How can we have a conscience And let it go on? We pretend it's not happening But it is. Google "Jared Fogle".
Let us amend the Constitution And create a safe haven for crime victims Let's have a two strikes and you're out Law for pedophiles who pray on children Under 12 years of age.
For me, I can no longer look at it With a blind eye For helping the children Is what I was trained by Life experience, to do. I was one of those children once And not a single person cared. Let me be there for the current Child victims And let's try to heal that part of Our sometimes, twisted world.
Let me do all that I can do!
All I ask of you, is to think about children Suffering around the world for just 10 seconds.
I don't want to care, I don't wanna feel like this anymore
I can't ask for your help Because i would have To explain myself, And that would make it Ten times worse
I should just stop speaking to you, But you did nothing to hurt me; I'm stupid and i overreact Because I'm insecure And, on my mind, There's no place for me In your heart
But what if, Maybe, I'm not wrong at all?
crying.
Author: savs
0
Date: 01/04/2020
№ 1199335
Crying with depression
Long time anger churning inside Blured vison but no one traveling aside Alone Handicaped, slowly moveing Longing to hear your voice soothing Reaching Looking up at the night sky Always wondering why Questions Puzzeled glazes burning a hole All wonder if i poses soul Pain Dropes of liquid burning my cheek Will i make it through the next week Sarrow Im broken inside Yet you still give me goodbyes Empty dreams These are words That cry out with depression
Some people cry with Screams. Others cry With tears of blood Instead of water And salt. But I, I cry in colours. I cry in shades of blue And green. Purple and Raspberry pink. It Sounds weird. But I cry in rainbow Tears. For every Colour has a Feeling of it's Own* ~
Walking through the rain, I try to forget the pain. I try to ignore the sting in my eyes, Because I know, a strong girl never cries. I begin to run, run from my fears. But I am followed by my ever present tears. I want to leave these familiar places, Leave behind all of these frequent faces. But where will I go? What will I do? All I know is I have to get far away from you. But something keeps me here, Crying one last tear.
