Poems about directors

№ 1093470

The Last Supper (The Directors Cut)

Jesus was looking impatient
It was already quarter past nine
He was sure he'd sent out invitations
And he'd turned all the water to wine
He'd promised a memorable banquet
As tomorrow he'd surely be dead
But the shops had been short of a few things
So he'd just had to settle for bread
When a knock at the door made him flutter
He adjusted his dress and his hair
He opened and bid all assembled
"Wipe your feet and then sit over there"
They shuffled and took to their places
But they looked slightly I'll at their ease
They could see all the wine and the bread rolls
But what of the ham and the cheese?
Jesus said grace in his fashion
"Cheers Dad" with his thumb held up high
"But be careful, this bread is my body"
"Now who wants a nice bit of thigh? "
They tucked in with nervous expressions
He'd been guzzling since they had arrived
He explained "It's my blood in these bottles"
"And without it I'd not have survived"
The apostles were forming conclusions
Their boss had been pissed all these years
But the wine washed away their objections
And the music drowned out all their fears
So they partied and danced on the table
They played twister and tidily-winks
Then stumbled off out to a nightclub
Because Judas was buying the drinks
The caroused and they conga'd till morning
Till their stomachs and bladders had failed
And that's how young Jesus got hammered
And the very next day he got nailed

cut,  directors,  supper.

Author: Ben Jones
Date: 23/12/2019

№ 865106

Local Funeral Directors

I overheard part of a conversation,
"I was measured for my coffin a long time ago"

Makes you wonder in a small community.
You are always being measured.

directors,  funeral,  local.

Author: nivek
Date: 30/05/2019

№ 374700

Practical jokes at the funeral directors

Funeral directors don't have much room for fantasy
And a great sense of humour is most needful
Face to face with death on a daily basis
I bet some of their practical jokes are the best ever

directors,  funeral,  jokes,  practical.

Author: nivek
Date: 11/03/2018

№ 296450

Directors Cut

I look around me and all I see
Are complexities
People that increasingly
Confuse or frustrate me
I just don't know what they want from me
I just know that this is not where I want to be
Tryin to maintain sanity
On the cheap
So who do I say goodbye to
Who do I keep?

Stick with stuck people
And you'll end up nowhere
And yeah it may sound unfair
But it's true
Its true to me, it's true to you
Leave behind
Or get left behind

But in this you can trust

If I've got love for you
I'll come back for you
Or better yet
I'll turn round to see
You've already caught up

cut,  directors.

Author: Rhianecdote
Date: 30/12/2017

№ 122441

Jesus on the Board of Directors

Listen people, profits attract milestones
Bar graphs and charts of shareholders
Catch no fish, only stones prevail
Speak no parables of numbers
I know two fish, five loves can and will feed five thousand.

Who said, the birds and the bees have 4o hour weeks
And summer holidays in the sun
Six weeks of laziness and gym routines?
Go fishing instead. make no fishy business of it.

I say, directors, loose garb is better than pin-stripes
Tithes better than fat bank balances full of fat.
Would you give an eye to your supervisor? No
So watch your manners. no point in being
The undercover boss handing out peanuts for
Poor employees and sucking dollars from their cheers
And less hours on the last floor shift!

I know tv does a lot of good, but so do bibles
And psalms and rock anthems and mary magdalene.

No point in raking in money singing
Jesus christ superstar!
Im just two thousand fourteen years late
On this board of whingers. AC- DC/BC?

Get a life man, the next train to eternity
Is only here on a whistle-stop. leaf your clothes behind
And head to the first nude beach
Around the bend. lucifer is red hot there. times
Have changed, man. whats next on the agenda?

© Marshall Gass. All rights reserved, 3 days ago

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board,  directors,  jesus.

Author: Marshall Gass
Date: 25/07/2017