Poems about full

9. 17. 12
12: 53 am
Full bottle of pills
I'm about to take
Please don't try to wake me
There's no point in trying anymore
I'm pathetic and nobody gives a fuck
Tired and sick of living this way
I gave up
Six pills down
Fifty three left to go
A. m.

Pick a card, any card;
Let's see if fortune is on your side tonight.

The first hand is dealt,
The red king upon his throne of paper.

Lay down your savings,
The black queen hands out dead flowers.

Another round is set up,
Your new friend jack is eager to play again.

An unreadable face,
So many hearts just waiting to be broken.

The truth or a bluff,
The clubs aren't really that fussed.

Dancing with lady luck,
Diamonds shimmer in pools of crimson.

Empires of paper and ink,
A growing hunger for the ace of spades.

A sleight of hand,
A prison of endless numbers and shapes.

Your luck runs out,
The joker slaps you on the back and laughs.

I wonder what it takes to go full circle
And find my way back home to You?
Although I might be as slow as a turtle
Your love will guide me when I am true.

I'll finish up then as I began being a child of Yours
Having knocked on so many of life's secret doors.
But even though I have yet to find all the right answers
At this stage of my life there have been some advances.

My feelings towards You now seem to have changed
But this shouldn't be a reason for us to feel estranged.
Love's the universal magnet that draws everything close together
We shouldn't mind too much if we pass through stormy weather.

In a world of constant change there are many upheavals
But love often does get stronger when there's a retrieval.
It's something of a realisation by which we come to know
That as love completes a full circle perfection it will show.

How long will it take to go full circle
To find my way back home with You?
It seems I'm just as slow as a turtle
But Love is guiding me as I am true.
_______

Memories of you, they come in waves
Tides of happiness reach their peak and crash with sadness upon the sand-
The nights we'd sit in silence
The times you forgot to hold my hand.
All the times you shut me out
From seeing in your soul
And the way you assumed i knew all about
The feelings you never told.
I wish you would have told me.
I wish i would have known.
Maybe you could have been the one,
It's a shame we'll never know.

I

In that November off Tehuantepec,
The slopping of the sea grew still one night
And in the morning summer hued the deck

And made one think of rosy chocolate
And gilt umbrellas. Paradisal green
Gave suavity to the perplexed machine

Of ocean, which like limpid water lay.
Who, then, in that ambrosial latitude
Out of the light evolved the morning blooms,

Who, then, evolved the sea-blooms from the clouds
Diffusing balm in that Pacific calm?
C'etait mon enfant, mon bijou, mon ame.

The sea-clouds whitened far below the calm
And moved, as blooms move, in the swimming green
And in its watery radiance, while the hue

Of heaven in an antique reflection rolled
Round those flotillas. And sometimes the sea
Poured brilliant iris on the glistening blue.

II

In that November off Tehuantepec
The slopping of the sea grew still one night.
At breakfast jelly yellow streaked the deck

And made one think of chop-house chocolate
And sham umbrellas. And a sham-like green
Capped summer-seeming on the tense machine

Of ocean, which in sinister flatness lay.
Who, then, beheld the rising of the clouds
That strode submerged in that malevolent sheen,

Who saw the mortal massives of the blooms
Of water moving on the water-floor?
C'etait mon frere du ciel, ma vie, mon or.

The gongs rang loudly as the windy booms
Hoo-hooed it in the darkened ocean-blooms.
The gongs grew still. And then blue heaven spread

Its crystalline pendentives on the sea
And the macabre of the water-glooms
In an enormous undulation fled.

III

In that November off Tehuantepec,
The slopping of the sea grew still one night
And a pale silver patterned on the deck

And made one think of porcelain chocolate
And pied umbrellas. An uncertain green,
Piano-polished, held the tranced machine

Of ocean, as a prelude holds and holds,
Who, seeing silver petals of white blooms
Unfolding in the water, feeling sure

Of the milk within the saltiest spurge, heard, then,
The sea unfolding in the sunken clouds?
Oh! C'etait mon extase et mon amour.

So deeply sunken were they that the shrouds,
The shrouding shadows, made the petals black
Until the rolling heaven made them blue,

A blue beyond the rainy hyacinth,
And smiting the crevasses of the leaves
Deluged the ocean with a sapphire blue.

IV

In that November off Tehuantepec
The night-long slopping of the sea grew still.
A mallow morning dozed upon the deck

And made one think of musky chocolate
And frail umbrellas. A too-fluent green
Suggested malice in the dry machine

Of ocean, pondering dank stratagem.
Who then beheld the figures of the clouds
Like blooms secluded in the thick marine?

Like blooms? Like damasks that were shaken off
From the loosed girdles in the spangling must.
C'etait ma foi, la nonchalance divine.

The nakedness would rise and suddenly turn
Salt masks of beard and mouths of bellowing,
Would--But more suddenly the heaven rolled

Its bluest sea-clouds in the thinking green,
And the nakedness became the broadest blooms,
Mile-mallows that a mallow sun cajoled.

V

In that November off Tehuantepec
Night stilled the slopping of the sea.
The day came, bowing and voluble, upon the deck,

Good clown... One thought of Chinese chocolate
And large umbrellas. And a motley green
Followed the drift of the obese machine

Of ocean, perfected in indolence.
What pistache one, ingenious and droll,
Beheld the sovereign clouds as jugglery

And the sea as turquoise-turbaned Sambo, neat
At tossing saucers--cloudy-conjuring sea?
C'etait mon esprit batard, l'ignominie.

The sovereign clouds came clustering. The conch
Of loyal conjuration trumped. The wind
Of green blooms turning crisped the motley hue

To clearing opalescence. Then the sea
And heaven rolled as one and from the two
Came fresh transfigurings of freshest blue.

It makes me
Feel... more filled
Than there is room
Like when the
Moon outshines
Itself and throws
A halo of shimmer
Around to the
Night sky

I will follow god's shadow
To the patches where humanity
Lights matches,
And the organised masses
Inhale virtuous sin like opium

Each atom singed with
Mindless absurdity,
I love god the most
When I hold my head
High, even when
My heart is heavy

And yet you piously rip flowers
From the minds of
Your self proclaimed sinners

--give me reason
Or give me death,

Soulless conditions,
The oppressed creature's
Book of virtue,
Follow it and celebrate

Eat the bread
Of your saviour

Drink the wine of his blood

As if this was some type of lunatic fringe
As if we were naive children
Invested in murderous thoughts,
Wash us away with your spring rain,
Harvest rose beds on our dry lands,
Just to see them grow into thorns
That convulse
Beneath the bed
We lay our hearts in

Don't teach me how the world will end,

Instead teach me how
It can begin again.

Eating big meals always
Makes me think of Us.

We always ate too much
Slept too much
Talked too much
Kissed too much
Knew too much
Grew too much
Loved too much
And never enough.