Poems about guess

I like sparks
They tend to light up the dark
They might not always get very far
But if its just who we are
Best to just be a part
Its best to just share your heart
And rest in the dark
Making marks in the bark
Letting it grow to be a part
Of who you are

You're branches may be getting tangled
Shedding weeds
Letting it get overgrown
Let it become more of what you own
Set a part to be a lone
Getting past who you've known
Yourself to be
And just who else you've grown to be
Where you've sown these seeds
What else you've learnt to see
You're health you've learnt to keep
This sore wealth you don't need to feed
And yourself you've burnt to in order breathe
Has turned to leaves
And twigs
Getting bigger
Setting a blaze
This blinding gaze
Lost in this haze
You've let yourself loose in this maze
And it's dark
But these sparks
Bring me further through
Brings me to something new
Something I didn't know

He
Smashes your past and present
Longs to get back to your past
Affects your routine
Manages to retain in present
Who is He?

And the universe had no business today as thoughts of you filled my head. Thoughts of a soul I could love. But a soul who had gone for good

Someone asked me
€˜Why don't you go get help?
You know you don't always have to be miserable. '
But I didn't want help.
Things would be so much more bearable
If I didn't know what I knew.
But I'd rather feel the pain
Than live without a thought of You.

You know, there are things in which I would like to answer
Your face pops up all the time and I wake up and think if you're awake
I have the courage to talk to you, you're on my mind
I look back at what we used to be and judge it
I pick holes at what we used to be
I think things are better now
I'm secure finally
I think I'll love you better
It's 5am, just a normal day... making myself some tea
You know how many things have to happen before we see eachother
The thoughts that cross my mind
The things I would do, the things I end up doing between that time
Everything used to be so off
I'm observant but I speak on it now
You're asleep right now and I wouldn't mind waking up next to you
It's a cool thought even though we're still teens
The thing is, have I caused so much damage to go back?
Or too much to go forward?
The thing is, I cant leave you like that
I myself wont allow someone I love to be left without security
Without my love in her heart
While you're reading this a lot is going through your head
While you're reading this, a lot of people are drying
Kids are getting raped
Houses are being burned down
Babies are getting aborted
People aren't making it through surgery
Someone just comitted suicide
AND I'M STANDING ON THE LEDGE OF LOVE YELLING I CAN MAKE YOU FORGET ABOUT THOSE THINGS THAT HAPPEN
I can heLP YOU NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU
THAT HOLDS YOU BACK
I spent the majority of my teen years debating if my days would come to end eternally
Eventually, they all do
Physcally tired but fuck it
Keep it going
I haven't lost my touch
I thought I wouldn't love right
Then again, define it
You can't define the way we act
Our motives are ours
You know what's fucking crazy
We're fucking awesome
Think of yourself
Think of your brain
There are two hemispheres
Think of the functions, the muscles, the abstracts, think of your fucking spinal cord that connects your body to your brain
Think of your will power
Now think of the "we are one" thing
Think of us
Alright I'm off to drink my tea now, it's ready

YOU
ARE
WEAK.

WHY
DO
YOU
THINK
YOU
MEAN
ANYTHING?

I'm feeling confused,
Not knowing if denial is the right word for liver failure.
You always were so sick
It's like it never occurred to me you could die.
And I'm still laughing and sarcastically acting
Like this is what Ive waited for.
I've been telling people you were dead for 3 years
Because my relationship with my mother
Was to hard to think about.
It was easier for me to pretend you were dead.
But now I find myself edging tears neurotically repeating my chosen mantra for the week

She won't die, she couldn't die... right?

I don't know how many times I've thought that confronting the harsh truth of the life you chose to live.
You've always been so sick
So sick and mean.
And Ive waded through every last memory I had of you
Every day since you let me know
How many days has it been
4.
And none of them gave me the closure I was hoping for.
I found myself insecure and unassured of your love all over again
I found myself feeling rejected by your personality.
I found myself still so desperate for the relationship we could have had.
Had you controlled your anger
Controlled your resentments
Controlled your drugs habits
Your out rageously childish rebellion
But instead I see you as some one who was always mean to me.
Who I just so happen to be madly inlove with and all I wanted to dO was mean something to you
I wanted you to like me
I wanted you to love me
I wanted to just make you happy
So you could love me but it didn't happen.
And you've destroyed your body by 43.
Your livers failing now
Because you didn't get your hep c treated
And I know I shouldn't want to save you it would be a waste, make myself weak so you can abuse another part of me all over again
But I wonder what the chances of us being a match is
And I wonder if being your daughter would make the lupus less of an issue in transplant, and i wonder if maybe you would finally understand the type of loyalty and love I've had for you

I look back on these times,
When I seem to be the happiest
My hair in a mess, and clothing,
Limited to t-shirts and warm-up pants
I was surrounded by my family
And ones I used to call friends
Being tickled, or teased
But it never bothered me then
The harmless jokes, and constant laughter
Kept me healthy
It kept me happy...
Now I am left with nothing
My hair straight and perfect
Clothing always in order
Surrounded by new friends
You would think it may all be perfect
But as I look back,
I knew those captured moments
Show me actually happy