Wind whips through my hair Sending it like a cat of nine tails Across my face
I smile on
A foam of gray spreads its wings above me So different from the blue of yesterday
Bleak brown figures reach Their bare arms towards me Begging for the coverings they have shed
I glance down, and rise up A shiny black surface smiles at me How odd that the chariots that ride it Are so rusty And unadorned Unlike the solid ground I once rode on Gray and ugly, but ridden by shiny, beautiful things Almost as if to say that the most beautiful Things are found at the lowest point
Sky above me Trees around me Ground beneath me Blood inside
Take me to a summer where Glory will in my eyes shine
Everynight they grow longer, This is nothing to do with my tolerance being stronger, It's not the high that I chase, It's death I want to face, Nearly dying my true desire, If you repeat this I will call you a liar. How close can I get to the fire?
Without being burnt. Touching the flame, Everything unlearnt. Yourself to blame.
If you die, comeback, Self inflicted heart attack. Can't tell a soul, Your secret goal.
Wishing there was another side, That there is another place, When this goes wrong a place to hide, Where no recognises your face.
You love the high more that you should, Blinded by trees not the wood. The way great pines reach the sky, Make you think of only one thing and sigh. Lost in the forest without an escape, Your body becoming an ugly shape. No direction for you to run, Only to repeat what you have done. When it started it was only for fun, Now it's burden weighs more than a ton.
Everytime you think your on the right path, The voice inside you has a laugh. If your heart did pop, The laughter would not stop. It would never end, Continued by my demonic friend.
The other place, beyond the cloud, Where anythings aloud, Laughter's even more loud. It made me question what I am hearing, My ignorance in what I'm fearing. The voice is my own, and I should be laughing. My own life I should be choreographing.
When I sit back and hear my own joke, It's not that i want to choke, Nor smell the coke Or have a massive toke.
It's not the afterlife that I seek, Death is for the meek. Its the realisation that I am alive, I want to survive. It took me an experience, To understand obedience, In will to live, Not just to seem tomorrow, But to be alive and there's more time to borrow
My body tingles after sipping down that first long pull My lips dripping with the sweet fire of my greatest desire The wave of relief washes over my entire being I shudder because the world is finally right again I have spent 15 long years battling these demons I was never really expecting to win And now I'm just so damned tired That I've decided to finally give in
