Poems about sick

There is a film rolling
All our deleted scenes
The intimacies
Fantasy

I lie and remember
How you made my body quiver
And I discovered heights
You kissed my thighs
Oh, how I lost my connection with everything but you

It makes me ill now.

It's your birthday

I am alone
Thinking of you,
Wherever you are drinking right now
There's no lights on in your head
And no cinema screening.

Are you sick?
I can glimpse at your skull when you turn your head
Your eyes are dead holes and your hair is almost gone
You beg for me to stay with you
But I don't want to be sick too
Is this what happens when you fill up with hate?
Is this what happens when you murder with words?
Do you get sick and then beg for forgiveness?
Like everything will just be fixed
Just because you're sick?
The world was not kind to me and neither were you
You think I'm a good person
Saying that I can forgive you for what you've done
But you don't know that I'm sick too
You made me this way, infected me with your words
So I'm just as horrible as you
I'll hide myself, bolt my windows, and lock my doors
So no one will get hurt
How can you forgive a corpse?

I sit in my basement.
And I watch others live their lives.
I'm not enough.
And my friends are worried.
And my family is worried.
It's happened, I'm sick again.

And then I go somewhere safe.
I feel better one day.
And better the next.
There's bad days too.
But I see tomorrow.

I'm sick of this shitty fucking chair
And the thoughts that shift with air
I'm sick of this shitty fucking chair
Tonight I'll become one with the exosphere
And disappear like I was never even here
I'm sick of this shitty fucking chair
Turning my flowers into flares

I cough so many times throughout
The course of the week
I feel a 6-pack coming in
This physical pain I feel can't be worst than
The emotional pain
At least this little time with a cold
Will distract me for a while from that
Mental cold that never seemed to leave my mind

The sickening beautiful pain of it all
What I wouldn't do to stop playing the part of the heart sick fool
I must be addicted to this kind of misery
I'm a schmuck and a fraud
What do I expect to happen
If I ever actually get around to my "big" confession
I've already done everything but say it flat out
And you're wiser and smarter than me
So I'm sure you already know...
Charles Bukowski said it best,

"Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. "

So lets just skip to the end and let me hand you this gun
If you can't pull the trigger I'll survive
I really won't mind being stuck here
In the sickening beautiful pain of it all

What do
Sick minds think about
Getting better
Gore galore
Something crazy
Maybe chicken soup for the soul?

UGH JUST THINKING THAT I AM TOO MUCH,
I CAN BE TOO MUCH
I CAN FEEL TOO MUCH
I want to be with you
All the time
And sometimes I feel like I should feel sorry for feeling that way?
Feel sorry for feeling
But mainly tonight i am just apologizing to myself
For not going to bed earlier