Poems about thoughts

Mentally I don't know where to start
Something feels wrong
But I don't know what
Then it shouldn't bother me
If I don't know
Something just feels so wrong
My chest is tight
My heart strains for some reason
It's breaking
I'm thinking happy thoughts but my
Stomach it keeps on turning
Thinking happy thoughts
But my head is pounding
Think happy thoughts
I've never felt so sad
Think happy thoughts
Think happy thoughts
All I can think about is that statement
No really happy thoughts cross my mind
Think happy thoughts
At least I'm distracted
Think happy thoughts!
Dammit
Think happy
Think happy
Just be happy!

Waking up in a world full of expectation
For eighteen years living in confusion
Her strength was my incurable disease
My weaknesses is the only thing they see.

Their asking for something I'm not, it breaks my soul
It is very hard, the greatest downfall
This pain I really can't take
I follow the decision that I didn't make.

I want to be like her so bad
I want to have the love she had.
She lives her life on her dreams direction
While I live in an oppressive delusion.

In this journey, it's not a good trip
I'm living my life under a damn script
I'm compelling this life to live the life they wanted
They just want their own dreams to be granted.

Wide awake, I'm now living a scripted scene
I will make it the way I wanted it to be
The hatred, insecurities, I WILL RAISE MY SCREAM.
I'm ready to move on, I WILL RECREATE MY DREAM.

In moments like this my ears burn
I want you to hear this but need you to learn
And If i say it too soon you will reject
But if i subtly drop a hint, you may deflect.

Being true to our humanity and the truth with in
Has proven difficult but well worth it in the end.

I have watched as those around me become more aware
And I have watched my self grow as well.

When you speak of the things which are never let out
They begin to show you a different way.

You're out on your porch smoking a cigarette
While I'm at home trying to forget
The ghostly dent you left
On the right side of my bed.
When did we become like this?
We used to be interwoven threads
Holding together each other's seams,
And I never thought you would be the first
To come undone.
When you kissed me and whispered
For the first time against my lips
I Love You
Over and over, I thought it would last forever.
I had never believed in love or forever
Until that night.
Your eyes used to make my blood pump
Three times faster but now they only
Skim over me like the hole in your jeans
Where the seams are frayed,
Like us.
These days you don't feel me;
I'm just another picture in the magazines
You tuck under your mattress,
But I'm sure you still find
My tears on your sheets.
I know it's fucked up
But I still care too much
And you, well,
You never loved anything.

Someone once told me
That I was everything
Anyone could every want
In a person and I know
I've told others
The very same utterance of words
In hopes to brighten their mood
But in the grand scheme of reality
They were missing something
And I'm missing something
And while I can see what they're missing
I can't see what I'm missing
And no one will tell me;
I ask them with hopes of improvement
And yet they smile and touch my arm
And tell me no, I'm fine, I'm just fine
And I can see the lies—
I want to know
I want to know
Why people leave me
And why I wasn't good enough
And why I stay up at night
Crying about the past
While you day by day
Begin to forget my name.

I am me.
But i apologize for being me
For the delights and the
Wretchedness.
Why do we mould for acceptance
Why do i,
Constantly steer to please
Others
And
Concealing my essence
Only because i think
Their validation
Fills
The empty space in my heart
Reserved only for
My own love
For me.
How silly of me. how clicho.

My mind seems to draws a blank,
Due to the absence of thought...
---
The practical things in life,
Are our thoughts in motion...
---
Where movement, hearing, smell, sight,
Are all set on automatic pilot...
---
Our thoughts?
---
Where love presides...
Where feelings come alive...
---
Where hurt begins...
Where we look for amends...
---
With feelings of pain,
That will drive you insane...
---
Where time stands still,
When you lose your will...
---
Where happiness plays a part,
Which we love from the start...
---
From tears of joy,
To tears of sadness...
---
With laughter and love,
Which we get from above...
---
So these thoughts we have,
Are the thing that we bare...
---
These thoughts of control,
Which controls your thoughts...
---

Man's actions are like
Cranapple.
They're reaction
To tenaction.
The reaction
Is creation
Of regulations
And dissemination.