There are words Tucked away In minds, To incite, Move forward, Shake cores, Turn hoarders To minimalists, Create Lists, Tasks, Set to do, Choose for me, Shift between Different places, Draw different Faces, Passing by on Streets I've got a tweet For each One of you, Wrapped in Treats, A delicious bonbon, Desserts of Verbs, Adjectives, Nouns, And more Words.
For a while Even the word Poetry Made me flinch. I had so many thoughts Swirling In my head But no courage to Put them down. My cup and mind Runneth over, And it's best to aim The spillage at Paper (digital or otherwise).
It was a friend, Someone I trusted Whom I sent my poetry to.
I asked for her thoughts And she responded, "lmao"
And that was the best Advice I'd ever received. Too bad it nearly broke me.
I do have a love and hate relationship with Writing but one thing I am Sure of there will never ever be a divorce. Even if I can no longer find Paper, pencil, laptop we'll still be a couple. I am never single if I have Writing even if I haven't received flowers.
writing.
Author: Twilight Zone
0
Date: 05/04/2020
№ 1207053
Writing a Complicated Poem About What Pisses Me Off
Spending intangible dollars at the mercy of my ever growing appetite, Instead of buying my ticket out of this perfectly advantageous country, Which focuses solely on my beauty and money. I neglect my inner advice telling me to drop it all and run, To where I can breathe and focus on God, Promoting a healthier way of living and improving humanity. Momentary hope that unrealistically characterizes perfection As a quality that I can mentally download and miraculously make the above, true, Never seems to linger long enough to actually induce action, Which leads to disappointment draining the motivation essential to recover my missing pieces, Which pushes me to crave cash I don't have, to pick up that dose, That hushes the unwarranted guilt that seduces me into thinking that I'm not incredibly blessed, And that I can't handle what I've been dealt, Blurs the doubts I have about my abilities, my self- worth, Forcing me into a state of content that awakens my creativity, While vaguely being able to make out memories of let down led by myself and my mother, Who was a part of what was never good enough for my idea of a perfect family. I've wrongly accepted that a mediocre life-performance is to be had while following the crowd, While obsessing over flaws that are negligible to my true purpose in life, And with that I've become stifled by the decision to remain effortlessly stuck.
A.M. ANXIOTY: (writing/poetry).. *WARNING* strong content. Read at own expence.
3: 22a. m. , On my second pack of iggy's, Smoked by the minutes counting You're not here by my side To hold me and watch stars Fall out of place like The places where our mind dwells And my breath in what was fresh For the kiss of your lips And put a hold on to the smoke In my head of you Our first night apart Things are something of some Painfuly hard to mend
3: 25a. m. , No, I AM pacing My neck weary and weak Too much for this head of mine To hold up all that clutters Streaming down my chest Like liquid fire from explosion Tensions play poker with my heart And you're still not here To help me live up to my feet You go one way and I I stay behind taking in the stabs
3: 30am, Amzing how I'm whipping throught this Pieces I chicken write-... vandalise
My pen and I drop another line, yet on these fresh sheets ... no, tonight we had no choice Since the choice was already made No, It's not a break up Just one of those nights I let you Spend away from me and I am just being so dam n selfish Just wanting you eaveryday How do you see me now Taking a bat destroying what is In my way thinking I care ... shit! Like I do Go ahead act like it don't kill me It's just anxioty, Attacks come around friendly Without handshakes that insults me And my feet crash on glass And yet, I feel nothing
... but you
3: 35am, Mornings kill like manson Like the devil himself It consums me in this home Where I make animals Look like nothing wild And the neighbors can hear me Crazy they would claim me And you're not here to hear me
3: 37am. , Another smoke to pop in my mouth And this house is smelling like A drug house I had created tonight When you come back home today Whatever time that may be I'll be screaming and crying Like a crazy azz bitch In an un-womanly like tantrum Like as if I hadn't hurt losing Another friend the other day And on top of that you leave me In times like these This is the first you've done So wrong to me Yet to me in my mind I may be Losing it completely Expressions say so much On your face where I feel like Slapping you hard like I Want you to really hurt!
3: 41a. m. , Even poetry stares me down this Early morning my, good one A wife I will be, intentionaly insecure I want this to go away Far away where I can cast myself Away with the extreme pain That I'm causing myself Cause you ain't here And that's all that's playing in my head That's all that matters to me now That you ain't in this fducking house Where I THINK you MAY belong
3: 44am, Another smoke and many more to come And this home is begining to close in on me And this is just another A. m. challenge for my depprssion Anti-deppressants don't do one shit And I swim in my head where thoughts Kill me while you're gone.
Gone feels like forever Up here is like the twilight zone And you are the episode Where conflics travle fast.
God! I fucking love you! This cage is now my dungeon And now it's 3: 39a. m
Abide these three [creative writing assignment p.7]
I have learned three things in life. I have lost three things in life.
Faith- a curtain to hide behind, crutches to hold me up. Faith- a broken record of lies and hypocrisy, when I threw it away I could stand alone.
Hope- an intangible thing of optimistic beauty. Hope- pessimism is so much safer.
Love- promises, worries, caring, blind, deaf and dumb, not even minding. Love- remember the memories, throw away the promises, don't cross those lines.
